Back at it again

Tags

Health, Insanity

Damn, I haven’t been here in a long time. Things have been busy finally moved and also got engaged, more on that in another  blog . Right now just writing to say everything is OK, and that I’m starting the Insanity fitness program again. Things got in the way, had a little health scare that turned our to be nothing, but I had to stop the program just incase it was serious. That set me back a good month maybe more, and it also didn’t help that I started eating junk again, going to bbq’s,celebrating birthdays, just enjoying summer in general cause me to fall of the health waggon.

Now, I am back to square one and hopefully, I’ll be able to get through it this time because I really want to earn that shirt. Tuesday is when I start back up, a couple of my friends are way ahead of me, one of them is already on week four, so that means my ass is way behind. But oh well, I haven’t given up,just had a few setbacks. I’m determined and this program will get done. Gotta get back to being healthy and proactive. No more starting over time to finish what I started, this muffin top has to go before it turns into a full damn bakery.

Another Eagles Season Ends In Failure.

Tags

Andy Reid, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Jeffrey Lurie, Juan Castillo, Nnamdi Asomugha, Philadelphia Eagles

Image via Wikipedia

I feel like I’ve been saying this at the end of every season since Andy Reid has been the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles. Andy Reid needs to be fired, his regime has run its course in Philadelphia, the fans are tired of hearing I have to do a better job, we know that Andy, and now you have to execute or exit.

This year they go and get these big name guys in Cullen Jenkins, Nnamdi Asomugha, Steve Smith, Vince Young, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, and Jason Babin. And somehow they get worse, they went from a 10-6 team and one play away from beating the eventual Super Bowl Champs in the Green Bay Packers. To being 8-8 a with  losing record at home, and blowing the most fourth quarter game leads in the history of the NFL. I don’t understand how Jeff Lurie can justify keeping Andy Reid as the head coach of this team. At the beginning of the season they said we’re all in and anything other than winning or at least making it to the Super Bowl was a failure. When it became evident the season was a lost and they couldn’t climb out of the deep hole they dug themselves, they making excuses.

Jeff Lurie should be embarrassed and ashamed of the way this team played and how the season ended. There should be no pride displayed in the fact they beat the Dolphins, Jets, Cowboys and the Redskins. All mediocre teams with the exception of the Cowboys. But they we’re being led by Steven McGee so I don’t really count that win either. The fact that the fans were chanting “Fire Andy” during the blowout against the Patriots, and the Linc was practically empty yesterday should clue Lurie in that this fan base is tired of Andy Reid and his regime.

If he brings Reid back and they lose the first 3 games next season, he’ll hear worse  things than fire Andy down at the Linc. Philly sports fans aren’t dumb we know what we see, and what we see is a bad football team and a head coach that is consistently out coached in big spots. He can’t hang with Bill Belichick, Mike McCarthy, or any of the SB winning coaches in the league. He shrinks in big spots in big games, he’s been to 5 NFCCG only won one and he was favored in all of them. Yes I know he’s the best coach this franchise has had, but at the same time, when it’s become obvious to regular people who have never played professional football that it’s time for a change. Making the playoffs isn’t enough anymore we’ve been there we know what it feels like, we want a parade down Broad Street.

We appreciate all the good memories of those playoff games, but we want a different ending, we want to hoist the Lombardi trophy up on Broad Street. We’re the only team in our division that doesn’t have a Super Bowl ring. In order for that to happen I believe that Andy Reid should be gone. Time to bring in new philosophy, someone who can identify talent on defense, someone who can get some production from the players he drafts in the first 4 rounds of the NFL Draft, someone who can finally put the players in a better position to win the game.

Here’s what needs to happen in order for the Eagles to win or get back to the Super Bowl.

1. Andy Reid and Juan Castillo need to be fired.

2. Get a defensive minded coach or one that can run a balanced offense

3. Get bigger Middle Linebackers

4. Draft better safeties

5. Get a bigger receiver in case DeSean doesn’t comeback

I’m not going to make a long ass list because we witnessed the debacle that was the 2011 Eagles so we all know the changes that should and needed to be made. Like I said that change starts with putting an end to the Andy Reid era, he should be fired for hiring Juan Castillo alone. Let’s hope that Jeff Lurie’s light bulb finally comes on and does what needs to be done.

 

Venting

Tags

Stress

Image by wstera2 via Flickr

These last two months have been very stressful planning and making this move, plus saving to finally get a car has definitely added to my stress level. Add to that doing 16 hour shifts 7 out of 14 days doesn’t put me in the best of moods, and of course there’s the added stress to my relationship. Seems like I can’t catch a break lately my girlfriend and I are on one of our stretches where we’re not getting along. Lately she’s just been getting on my nerves always criticizing and having something negative to say about any and everything. The other day I snapped I was just so annoyed and tired, and she kept on about me getting a toaster oven instead of a toaster. Correct me if I’m wrong but it does the same thing which is “toast” so what’s the damn difference? This came after we had a disagreement about the fridge which I wasn’t able to get because I over spent on another item.  I snapped because she kept on and on about it even after I acknowledged the fact I fucked up. Even the next day she still kept at it, like it was the end of the damn world. She just has a way to piss me off. If the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn’t have kept bringing it up, I would have said we’ll figure out something to get it. Plain and simple, not keep on asking what are you going to do about the fridge? What’s your plan to fix it? You would have thought I lost the house or some huge amount of money.

Right now, I just can’t wait til this move is over and done with so I can calm down relax and detox from everything. I need a vacation from everything, I need to go somewhere quiet so I can defrag my brain. I don’t want to plan this house-warming, one: I’m not really into it, two: I don’t want more stress  due to the fact I know there will be some issue with guests. Mainly because a lot of my friends are femmes and two of them are ex’s one of which I dated 7 years ago, and the other about 10. My girl still has this jealousy thing and I don’t feel like watching her so I can make sure she’s polite/cordial to my guests. I admit there’s two people on her list that I’m not particularly fond of, one of which I have a legit gripe for not liking, the other one is just because she’s her ex, and I don’t like other butches I don’t know…lol

Besides that nothing else going on, just trying to make it through what’s left of 2011 without anymore drama and stress.

Gold Standard My Ass!

Tags

Andy Reid, DeSean Jackson, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Donovan McNabb, LeSean McCoy, Nnamdi Asomugha, Philadelphia Eagles, Super Bowl

Image by Matthew Straubmuller via Flickr

The last time I was this disappointed as a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles was when they lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFCG, I watched Ronde Barber intercept Donovan McNabb and kill the Eagles dreams of going to the Super Bowl. Since then I’ve had many moments of frustration but still kept the faith and cheered in on because I bleed green. But this season I can actually say I’ve grown tired I’m tired of Andy Reid and his stupid “I’ve got to a better job” I’m just tired of being fed a bunch of bullshit by Jeff Lurie, Joe Banner and this bullshit front office telling us they’re the gold standard and they believe they can win a Super Bowl with Andy Reid at the helm.

In a year they bring in almost every coveted free agent and say they’re fighting a championship you don’t hire Juan Castillo to be your defensive coordinator. The man has never coached on a professional level, but once again the “genius” that is Andy Reid thinks he’s smarter than everyone made this asinine move. To me that doesn’t say you’re going after a championship. If you’re after a championship you bring in people with experience, and players that fit your scheme. You have middle linebackers that are small and can’t tackle, players that wouldn’t even be on any of the other 31 teams rosters. All that money they spent on Nnamdi Asomugha who by the way I think fleeced the Eagles because dude can’t tackle, I mean he completely punked out on a tackle yesterday, and he’s been doing that all year. Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie stinks in the slot, Kurt Coleman is a another bum who can’t tackle.

Watching this team is frustrating, if I had hair I’d be pulling it out every time I watch these bums play. How can a veteran like Asomugha line up offsides like he did yesterday? That just shows how much they lack focus and horrendous this team is. They blow another 4th quarter lead, Juan Castillo can’t make the proper adjustments during the game, much like Andy Reid. Players are constantly out of position, they don’t communicate on the field. The all look like lost with their heads up in the clouds or up their asses, because they’re making mistakes that they teach you not to make when you first start playing football.

So many things about this team make me angry. They have one of the best RB’s in the game in LeSean McCoy and they only give him the ball 14 times against a team rated 28th against the run, that’s unacceptable. And at this press conference Reid says the game plan was to pass the ball because they felt they could, that would be all well and good if your top WR’s were in the game.

If the fans in the stands and watching at home can see that giving the ball to LeSean is the answer why can’t that blow hard on the sidelines can’t see it too? At this point I’m done watching these fools embarrass themselves on national television every Sunday and sometimes Monday. At some point Jeff Lurie needs to grow some fucking balls and realize that Andy Reid has to go. They say you shouldn’t fire a coach in the middle of the season, but the season is over, it was over last week when they lost to the Chicago Bears in front of their hometown fans. These dudes have no heart, as soon as another team gets the lead on them they punk out and fold like a bunch of beach chairs. They’re not a team, they’re a bunch of individuals collecting a pay check. Andy Reid can say he doesn’t believe that the team had checked out, I say DeSean Jackson missing practices or meetings say quite the opposite. He lost the team and the season, time to move on to better and bigger things. Jeff Lurie should be ashamed and embarrassed at the way this team has regressed. This is not the gold standard, its old left over garbage wrapped in tinfoil.

 

Eagles Dream Team Looking More Like A Nightmare

Tags

Andy Reid, DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, LeSean McCoy, Michael Vick, NFL, Philadelphia Eagles

One word to describe this loss by the Eagles is UGLY! The Eagles came out flat and uninspired against a New York Giants team who came in with many injuries,and they still managed to beat them 29-16 in another 4th quarter meltdown.

From the beginning of the game I felt they were going to lose, Michael Vick looked sloppy and never was able to get his rhythm . The only bright spot was LeSean McCoy who rushed 124 yards, other than that nothing from the play-makers, Jeremy Maclin had 3 catches for 69 yards, DeSean Jackson only had 30 yards and Brent Celek only had 2 catches for 9 yards.

Of course the play calling was horrible, Vick was running for his life the entire game, and as result ended up with a broken hand. I don’t understand what Andy Reid was thinking about giving the ball to Owen Schmitt on the goal line when you have all that speed,and Ronnie Brown to get those tough yards, or even use him in the wildcat. Reid is by far the worst game day coach in this league.

This offense has become boring and predictable, with the exception of Vick when he scrambles for a big gain, and LeSean McCoy making people miss tackles.I don’t see any attempts to get the ball down field to DeSean Jackson or Jeremy Maclin.

Andy Reid better figure out how to get things back on track before the bye week. Beginning with this offensive line that can’t seem to keep Vick off his ass. Then of course the play calling on both sides of the ball.

On to the defensive side of the ball.

Juan Castillo isn’t the answer as a defensive coordinator, he looks lost, he’s obviously being out coached and out of his element on the sidelines. I don’t care how much excitement and enthusiasm he brings to the game and practice,that doesn’t win you games.

The first two weeks, the run defense gets gashed. This week the run defense plays well,so obviously he made the adjustment to fix the run defense,now this week they get killed by Victor Cruz, the 4th guy on the Giants depth chart.

They bring in Nnamdi Asomugha to be the compliment to Asante Samuel, and of course they’re not using him how they should be. He’s a shut down corner, I don’t know why they have not playing man.

The middle linebacker situation is lame, the worst LB corps in the league, these guys are special teams players on other NFL rosters, but here Andy Reid and the rest of this inept coaching staff seem to think they’re starting NFL material. Obviously Casey Matthews didn’t pan out at the middle linebacker so they move him to the weak side, and he gets burned by Brandon Jacobs, Nate Allen gets trucked by Ahmad Bradshaw.

The last 6 draft pics have made no impact on this team. Nate Allen so far is a bust, Brandon Graham hasn’t seen the light of day since last year, grant it he’s had some injuries. They traded up to get Brandon Graham when they could have drafted Earl Thomas,last year they could have drafted Eric Berry. This year Danny Watkins their first overall pic, isn’t even dressing for the games. They had the chance to get Gabe Carimi, Nate Solder, Anthony Costanzo, or Mike Pouncey, but they draft Danny Watkins 26 years old with only 1 year of football experience.

At this point Andy Reid better come up with one hell of a game plan against the San Fransisco 49ers, because they lose to them and go 1-2 in the conference this town will be calling for his head along with Juan Castillo’s. They have a tough schedule after the bye week, playing teams, like Buffalo that just beat the New England Patriots which they also play along with the Jets, Cowboys, and NFC East leaders The Washington Redskins. The Eagles have a lot of questions about their team and right now seems like they don’t have answer.

What Am I Doing Wrong?

Tags

Personal Stories, Relationships

I know every relationship has its ups and downs, lately in my relationship has been more down than ups. There was a point in my relationship that my girlfriend and I could talk all day with no problems no arguments. Now it seems like we can’t have a conversation without having any issues. The conversation could be going great, then all of a sudden there’s an issue. Today she felt that some links I posted from a website on my Facebook page were geared towards her and things we had previously discussed, which wasn’t the case at all.

I simply posted the links because I liked them, just as I’ve always done and she’s never questioned as to why I’m posting them. Today I posted some links from cardcarryinglesbian.com one of the stories was called “straight gay girls”, basically the author of the post was saying how every time she goes out with her wife who’s butch gets hit on by girls who she presumes are gay, but she later finds out they’re straight. Totally had nothing to do with us because we’ve never experienced anything like that during our relationship.

The other post was called “unlesbian”, in the post the blogger writes about how she had a hard time coming to grips with her sexuality and labeling herself a lesbian until she was divorced from her husband so for a while she identified as bi.

She went on to describe the many different she went by during her first few years trying to fit into the LGBTQ community. And for a long time saying she was a lesbian because she was attracted to masculine females. Again nothing about this post in my opinion has nothing to do with my girl or anything going on in our relationship, still, somehow in her mind it does.

I really don’t know what to do anymore, this has been going on for quite sometime now. She has issues with damn near everything I do or don’t do lately. Another example is she has an issue with one of my friends, because she likes my posts before my girl does, or comments on a stat first, all things I can’t control. Sometimes she gets mad if I don’t comment or have an opinion on something she blogs or posts.

Right now, I’m not sure what’s going on, I don’t know if its one of the many things that can happen in a relationship and I shouldn’t make a big deal out of it and let it take care of itself. Maybe its deeper and I can’t see it. I’ve been wrecking my brain for days trying to figure things out and nothing is coming to mind. Now, I’m frustrated because I don’t know what the hell is going on. Up until this point we’ve never had any major issues. Now it seems like we can’t get along for more than a few hours. What am I doing wrong? I need some feed back, so I won’t feel like I’m trippin.

Blowing Off Steam

Tags

Gym, Health, Music, Recreation

scream and shout

The best way I let off some steam is by going to the gym,or listening to some 2pac while shutting out the world. Listening to music allows me to zone out and not think about the thing or things that made me angry. Some people find it funny that I listen to 2pac to calm down, I tell them that’s just what works for me. Slow music just makes me think more about what made me mad, that’s why I stopped listening to slow jams when I’m angry. The only time I listen to slow music is when i’m sleepy,but can’t manage to fall asleep.

Going to the gym also helps me because I can take my anger out on some heavy weights, and running on the treadmill. Although I haven’t been in a while, because I’ve been too tired working like crazy trying to save money so I can get a car before the crappy winter weather kicks in. Add to that a crappy diet makes it about 2 weeks maybe more since I haven’t been to the gym. I will definitely get back to it, this junk food diet I’ve been on, has me tired,lazy and moody. I just have get my ass up and do what I gotta do before I turn into a miserable tub of lard, lol, that will never happen.I care about myself too much to let myself get fat. I’m cool with being a little out of shape but anything beyond that,is not cool.

Am I Wrong?

Tags

Bisexuality, Dating, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, Relationships

Image via Wikipedia

My girlfriend doesn’t understand why I think she’s weird that she now doesn’t like penis or men and feels some type of way that i think she might go back to dating men. To me it’s not weird at all up until 3 years ago she was with the father of her two kids for 9 years, and has dated men all her life. So, I don’t think it’s totally weird that one day she might decide to go back to men,and I don’t understand why she’s hurt by me thinking it. Maybe she feels me thinking that somehow makes me doubt that she loves me, which isn’t the case at all. I just can’t grab the concept of the fact that she’s always been with men and now she identifies as lesbian and not bisexual.

I guess it’s because I’ve been out for most of my life and being a butch has something to with it. I really don’t know, then again it could be that most of the women that I’ve encountered that were with men for most of their lives that later identified as lesbian eventually went back to dating men. I’ve also dated some of these women, which caused me to not like bisexual women, or date women with kids. I try not to let that affect our relationship, and for the most part it doesn’t.

It’s not like the idea that she might one day leave me for a guy constantly runs through my mind. It just happens once in a while when she’s going through shit with her fam not accepting the fact that she’s women now, I feel one day she may decide that it would be easier to deal and navigate through life if she was with a man.

She always tries to reassure me that she only wants to be with me and no one else and especially not a man in spite of my (butchyness) that’s the word she made up to describe how she views my way of thinking.

Eventually I think it will go away once we’ve been together for a while, we’ve only been together a year and 4 months that has a lot to do with it too, our relationship is still fresh and we’re still learning about each other.

No lesbian erotica for me!

Tags

Lesbian, Sex

Image via Wikipedia

My girlfriend finds it weird that I don’t read lesbian erotica, she always she’s going to take away my “lesbian card” because I say it’s corny and doesn’t turn me on. I read a lot of gay themed books, to me they’re more interesting plus the drama and sex scenes are awesome. I read books by Terrence Dean, E. Lynn Harris, and other gay authors. The first gay book I read was Invisible Life by E. Lynn Harris and from then on I was hooked, I read that book in one day, I couldn’t put it down.

I’ve read some lesbian themed books, and they were OK. I just haven’t found that one book that I couldn’t put down, some people have suggested I read the Purple Panties series, maybe I’ll take a peek at one of these days.

I tell my girl the only reason she’s so into these books is because she’s just coming into “the life” so this still all new to her. Having been out since my teenage years, lesbian erotica doesn’t do anything for me. What can I learn from these books? I know everything there’s to know about lesbian sex, reading about it doesn’t interest me. Maybe if I find a good book, not necessarily erotica,but a good story i’ll change my mind. For now gay books are at the top of my summer reading list.

She doesn’t really like gay books or “gay man sex” I don’t really remember why. She always says something about that “thing” and stuff squirting, while making a face like she’s grossed out, which I find weird because she dated men all her life. So, I’m like how can you be grossed out, when you have two kids? To me that’s weird.

I’m sure there are some good lesbian books that I’ve yet to discover, and wonder if I ever will? I don’t even think I know or even heard of any lesbian authors well not just any lesbian authors, black lesbian authors. Maybe that will be my next search after I’m done all of my gay themed books.

A very craptastic week!

Tags

drama, life, parents., Relationships

Lately things haven’t been going well, seems like every other day me and my girl are going through something. And most of the time it comes out of nowhere. Like today, she gets all pissy with me because I didn’t comment on a blog she posted. I told her I didn’t comment on it because we already discussed the topic of the post in person and I had nothing else to add. Prior to that I already told her she has a good blog in the making.

I don’t know what else she wants from me? Because a lot of the time I really don’t have much to say, but she expects me to comment on everything all the time. It’s not enough that I read it. I understands she values my opinion or at least wants it, sometimes I just don’t have one. She just doesn’t understand and gets all pissy with me over something like that, as if I did something super wrong. She reads my posts all the time, and I don’t get upset if she doesn’t comment, her reading it is enough for me.

I just wish she’d chill sometimes, seems like lately she’s just been trippin out. I already have other BS and stress I’m dealing with, I don’t want compounded drama with my girl. Especially if I didn’t do anything wrong or f*cked up. When I’m going through things I expect to be able to talk to her and have that be my comfort zone when the weight of the world is coming down on me. Lately I haven’t been able to, because I’m thinking we’re ok out of nowhere I get blindsided with some issue that I feel isn’t a big deal.

Besides that my dad who I haven’t asked for shit in 6 years asks me for 400.00, so I wired him half, his ass went to one Western Union place and they didn’t have the funds. So today he calls me tellin me all this while I’m at work, tellin me to cancel the transaction because he couldn’t get the cash, and to wire it to Haiti. I tell him I’m at work, and I don’t have that much money left and I don’t know how much the fees will be. Instead of this nigga being appreciative his ass goes on a rant about how kids never wanna do shit for their parents, and some other bullshit. Then he tells me keep my money and bangs on me. I shoulda kept my shit in my pocket like I started to yesterday, but I felt bad and sent him the half.

Motherf*ckers so ungrateful, this nigga spent years sending his lazy ass bum ass side of the family in money in Haiti while not really doing shit for my mom or us. But wanna show his ass cuz I tell him I can’t help out, wtf is wrong with this nigga?! Its not my fault he wanna be dumb and pay 1200 rent for a one bedroom apt because he doesn’t want to buy a house all due to the fact he doesn’t wanna cut grass. Oh well, he better not ever ask me for anything again. Cuz I don’t have it!

Then there’s the BS that went on at work, wasn’t too bad I guess, but still some added bs I didn’t need. I feel like the universe is just pointing a giant middle finger at me lately. I’m not gonna even say they can’t get any worse, because it can and probably will. That’s my update/rant whatever you wanna call it. At this point I wanna tell everyone leave me the hell alone and ride this out without further aggrevation.